Having been a fan of mastodon for close to 10 years now I was very excited when I came across this blog because it offered new news and a bunch of other stuff that you can’t get from your ordinary website. So when I saw that FYM are doing “The Skye Dailor Remembrance Day Project” I felt that I had to write in.

My childhood was pretty shitty, my family constantly moved as both my mother and her husband were in the army. So I never had many friends, because if I made friends, I was sure to lose them in a couple of months. I went to school, sat by myself, often got teased because I was so quiet, then I got home and was quite often by myself as my parents weren’t home.

This was all made much worse by the fact that when my mums’ husband got home he would be very abusive towards me and my sister. I would protect her as best I could, but that more often than not resulted in me being a punching bag.

2001 rolled around and we moved to Victoria (South East Australia), I new I would be starting at a new school which terrified me. My first day at the new school was pretty average, except for a boy called Greg who sat opposite me with metal logos drawn all over his pencil case, being a fan of slayer, cannibal corpse, metallica and so on, I began talking to him about bands we liked when he mentioned a band his older brother loves. Mastodon.

I became best friends with Greg pretty quickly, and we blasted remission non-stop every time we chilled. As the years passed, mastodon released more albums, and Greg and I became even better friends. Collecting every piece of mastodon merch/CDs that we could find.

Greg suffered from Depression, and I suffer from bi-polar so we would use mastodon as our “anti-depressant” which would lift our spirits without question, but around the time of high school Greg was severely depressed, and ultimately took his own life. I had lost my best friend, my brother, my mate. I blamed myself for his passing, always thinking of ways I could’ve stopped it, and it destroyed me.

Shortly after that I was informed that the man I believed to be my father was in fact NOT my father (hence why I refer to him as my mums husband), this really messed me up as I was still struggling with the loss of my only friend.

I had a very hard time coping with the loss and the news; I even tried to take my own life a few times, but failed (Luckily). Greg passed away in 2008, only a few months before CRACK THE SKYE was released, and while the album did soothe my pain quite a lot, I was still unable to cope with it all.

2010 came around and I was only getting worse. Then it was announced that MASTODON would be playing the Big Day Out festival, which was very exciting as mastodon don’t frequent Australia often. Although I was stoked to see mastodon, I had decided that I didn’t want to live anymore, but didn’t want to miss seeing mastodon before I went. I had it all planned out, I was going to go to the show and watch mastodon, and then I would go home and commit suicide. For some reason I had it planned out that it was the best way to go out.

But when I got to the stage, and mastodon walked out I felt an instant sense of euphoria, a kind of spiritual experience. They played CTS in its entirety, and having previously known the back story of it, I started seeing Greg’s death and my life in a different light.

It may sound stupid, and it is really hard to explain, but I had a crystallising moment then and there while front row watching CRACK THE SKYE being  played, almost as if the song was saying to me “its all ok, the pain will stop, you will be fine, your friend is safe”… it was the most profound, crazy, beautiful moment of my life, and the fact that it was while I was listening to my favourite band deliver the most heartfelt, powerful performance is nothing short of amazing to me.

(Not to mention troy pointed at me and mouthed nice shirt and dedicated Ghost of Karelia to me (I was right in front of him))

6 Years on since my diagnosis of Bi-Polar, 3 years since Greg’s passing, and I am still going strong. I still have very dark moments, but all I have to do is chuck on a little of the ‘don and think about when I used to chill with my mate, and it all seems a little better.

I’m still as into mastodon as ever. I am a die-hard fan-boy, and ill always be a mastodon fan boy given the impact that they have had on my life.

I am so glad that their music reached me on a different level to most, because if it hadn’t, I would definitely not be here (and I would miss out on hearing the hunter, what a mistake that would be D:)

Andrew Negro
Australia

everythingsdebatable:

Thanks for inspiring your little bro to write some of the greatest metal the world has ever seen.

Stumbling across Mastodon’s music is the best thing that has ever happened to me. All of my successes would not have occurred without them, for they keep me alive. In moments of doubt, in moments of hardship and throughout my endless bouts of depression they pick me up; they keep me going; they inspire me to live. I bought Crack the Skye when I was suffering from my worst episode of depression to date; no exaggeration when I say it saved my life. At that time I needed something to relate to, that spoke to me – I didn’t feel comfortable expressing my feelings to those close to me so listening to that album was my therapy.

After being forced into counselling at a very young age (hell, I’m only 18 now) it wasn’t speaking to some stranger about how I was feeling that helped me deal with such illness, it was retreating to my room and listening to Mastodon. They were constantly available to listen to and never let me down. Four years on and whenever I have a depressive spell, it’s Mastodon that remind me to keep living, don’t give up.

I was very lucky to have met them and thank them myself. I cannot be grateful enough for the time they took to speak with me. Their music and each of them as individuals make me feel human – a part of something. Every time I have seen them live, an overwhelming state of happiness encapsulates me which I cannot gain from any other environment, any other band or any other person. Even just sticking on one of their DVD’s whilst I’m feeling gloomy is a sure way of making me feel good again. No other band has touched me in so many ways. No other band had prevented me from ending it all. For that I have an unfathomable love for them.

Currently, I’m feeling good about my life and the opportunities that are presenting themselves. However, I have no hesitation in saying I would not have lived to experience them without Mastodon’s music. I anticipate the more positive vibes that are going to emerge from The Hunter, as that’s where I am right now. More positive. My life seems to be in sync with the progression of their music and I believe Mastodon is the band that I will continue to listen to for years to come.  

A few months ago I got the Remission symbol tattooed on my neck to show my sheer thankfulness and devotion towards the band. So although I may never truly overcome my depression, Mastodon’s music is my remission, is my therapy, is my life-line.

Thank you Mastodon – whatever life throws at me, you keep me on the ground, rather than six-feet below it.

Matt : I had to ask; Mastodon. Obviously you know the guys, you guested on the last three albums; I was going to ask you which of those was your favourite if you had one?

Scott Kelly: It would be “Crack the Skye” for sure, because that song was a really, really heavy song to do. That song was about Brann’s sister and how she passed away, and it was a story that I was very familiar with from knowing Brann. When he decided to do that, he called me up to talk to me about it and said “this is what I wanna do” and “I really, really want you to sing the song” and I said, you know “sure, I will”. I took it really seriously and I emailed with Brann’s Dad a couple of times and just talked to him about Skye, and then he sent me a photograph of her actually, and I sat there and looked at that photograph of her and just kinda meditated on her and on all of the situation, and the family and then actually set all that shit up in the studio and recorded the song with her picture there, and I just really tried to do it as real as I felt I could. So that one definitely is the one.

I never did anything like this in my whole 28 years long life. I mean, things like writing a letter to my favorite band or to one of it’s members. Maybe because I’ve never felt the need to do such a thing. Till now.

I like Mastodon since I first heard the band, some 5 or 6 years ago. And listen to you guys since. Now…why I even decided to write this letter down?

I was born in a small town in Bosnia and was just a kid when the war started. Had to leave my home and my friends when my parents decided they would do anything to try to provide a better life for me in the future. And to save us from the constant fear of being killed by a bomb, or grenade, or our first neighbor who went crazy because his son was just killed.  We were on our way to Vienna, but had to stop in Croatia due to some administrative complications (those were not rare in these times) and stayed here in Zagreb. Everything was new. New school, new people… I always kinda felt poor compared to those kids at school and some of them made sure I never forget where I came from and why I’m not as good as they were. One kid yelled at me once and said horrible things to me that day. And that feeling of insecurity, fear and loneliness that I was overwhelmed with, has never completely abandoned me. But somehow I endured. Found one good friend and that was enough to push me through those rough years of adaptation to new homeland. And the guys who were bullying me apologized few years later. Guy who yelled at me and told me things I managed to forget by now, called me on the phone to say how sorry he was for the things he had said. All of that was nice, but some of the scars remained and my personality was partially built on the feeling of not being good enough. I have never learned how to say ‘no’ to people and stand up for myself. All the things I did I was afraid to show to the world, I was always ‘that one who is not so very important and it was all because I had no strength. I had no life force.

In the last few years I made a lot of mistakes in my life and a slot of bad things happened to my closest ones which, inevitably affected me. My father almost died, my boyfriend lost his mother, I left the college where I was pretty successful and in the end we lost our beloved dog. For the past 2 or so years I was a shell of a person. There was no thrill. No passion. I even kinda stopped listening music and drawing, which is my second passion besides Russian language (I attended School for applied arts and design and studied Russian for 3 years in college). It was a poor life. Living day by day, waiting for something to happen and staring at the ceiling.

Well, what all this has to do with Mastodon you may ask…

Few months ago it was announced that you’re coming to Zagreb. I was happy. Veeeery happy! I bought my ticket 2,5 months earlier just to be sure.  Mastodon was one of my favorite bands. The show took place on June 22 and it was a damn hot day. People were melting around and I was unprepared for what was about to happen to me! During the show, my friend and I ended somehow in the front row and the energy completely blew my mind! I loved the band before that, but what happened to me on that day was something I can hardly find the words to describe. You literally charged my batteries. I have no idea if the sound was perfect, what gear you played on…all the technical things my friends always pay attention to..but I know one thing: that band change my whole life perspective!

When the show ended, my knees were shaking and I felt as if something inside of me broke. Like an eggshell, and something was born. A life force of some kind. I still can’t really explain this, it may even sound silly to hear a 28 year old saying things like: this band changed my life, but it’s just what it is and I’m grateful for that. Some inner strength has appeared and somehow I’m able to say ‘no’ to people, I’m able to stand up for myself. Because listening your music is like reading a book. A beautifully illustrated book. Which inspires. And inspiration is necessary if you want to create something. And when you create you feel stronger and fulfilled. That’s what I think has happened to me.

So, dear Mastodon, thank you!

And dear Brann, things you do with your friends and bandmates make difference. I’ve read the story about your sister and it’s heartbreaking… This beautiful girl now inspires so many people, she lives in all you do, in all we, your fans do, when we are inspired by your music.

This letter turned out to be little longer then I expected, but this is just because I was struggling to find the right words. And those words may not all be spelled right because English is not my language, but I still hope that at least some of them reached you. 

Maria